GenZ can 💀
I'm 💀
I feel bad about my emojis. Seriously, take one look at them at you’ll know I’m somewhere in the age range between mid-50s and death, according to recent news reports. I’m so glad Nora Ephron isn’t around to have to worry about this strange new development in the world of aging.
Apparently, for anyone not paying attention, Generation Z has spoken and collectively deemed the use of the “crying laughing emoji '' indicates that you are old AF. No matter 😂 or 🤣, adding one (or a string, as I like to do) to the end of a text to indicate you are LOLing so hard giant tears are squeezing out of your eyes that’s really conveying to your recipient, “Grandma’s senile and laughing like a crazy person again.”
To be cool, like GenZ cool, opt for the 💀 (skull) instead. Using that symbol tells whoever you’re texting that whatever you guys are texting about has straight-up killed you. “I’m dead,” it says. That’s what the cool kids say.
This week, I saw a food blogger I follow on Instagram make a joke about whether to embrace her middle age and keep using her go-to LOL Old Lady Emoji or to adopt the skull like the youngsters. This gal is probably in her 40s and pretty hip and cool and I thought, “GenZ can 💀.”
Why are we letting a bunch of babies dictate what’s cool? Or, that something is old and that there is something wrong with that? I’d take being a 50-something woman with a lot of hard-earned wisdom gained through experience than some dumb-dumb 20-something who still thinks she knows everything any day. Believe me, I’ve been that dumb-dumb.
Last weekend I met two friends and their dogs to snowshoe the same hilly trails I hike when they’re not covered in a foot of snow. Our doggies hopped through the deeper piles along the sides and we ladies crunched our way under ice-laden branches and tried to have as much of a conversation as we could while walking in a straight line and slightly breathless from the exertion required to clomp along a trail.
We got to the top of a really long incline — one that even without metal contraptions strapped to the bottom of your feet — can leave you panging. We surveyed the hill and agreed it was more than we wanted to get involved in and decided we’d turn around and start the march back to the car. But instead, we stood for a while with our gloves off and feeling warmed from the snowy hike and began to talk about life as 50-something-year-old women (and I should add white and privileged as well to that list of descriptors).
I had shared that I’d been interviewing for a job and throwing my resume at anything that moved and we talked about what it was like to be looking for a job at this stage of our lives. We all are a year or two away from kids being out of the house at last and trying to figure out what comes next after decades in service to our progeny. One friend’s job is with a big insurance company that’s on the edge of restructuring and the possibility of a buy-out exists. The other friend is at a part-time job that could become full-time, which she would like except she’s so bored and has started to quietly look around as well.
When a lot of my friends were going through the whole Empty Nest thing a few years ago, I wasn’t very sympathetic. Why, I thought, are they not thrilled to finally not have an answer at 7am of “What’s for dinner?” as kids prepared to leave for school or find their teenager’s entire collection of shoes — include snow boots in May — by their back door? To me, having all the kids out of the house sounded kind of magical.
But in the last month, I’ve really started to think about what life is going to be like when my high school senior heads to college this summer, quickly followed by his 20-something sister, displaced by the pandemic last spring, who’s moving to Philly. After close to 30 years of a life dedicated to monitoring their daily activities, on top of juggling various jobs — all four of my children will have left the proverbial building.
What’s a mom supposed to do?
I told one woman I interviewed with that I had “a lot of bandwidth” to bring to a role, and that couldn’t be more true. As my friends and I stood at the top of that snowy hill, we agreed that instead of passing over women of a certain age for jobs, companies should be actively seeking them out for employment. Imagine the wisdom and experience that mothers, who have been actively micromanaging other lives on top of jobs of their own and all household duties, could bring to a job. What employers would have, of course, is a seasoned adult rather than some bright-eyed child just out of college who still needs their mom to tell them if they need a stamp to mail something to Ohio (that might be a true story).
This brings me back to emojis and this cultural deference we seem to be experiencing around youth vs those of us who have more gray hair than naught. GenZ has also deemed skinny jeans as passe and instead, we are supposed to (ironically) be embracing highly-unflattering “mom jeans.” Having succumbed to that trend and bought a pair (or two) of that style, I can tell you unequivocally that THEY ARE NOT FOR MOMS. Ask my tummy after sitting in a very cool pair from Everlane at dinner the other night. All I wanted to do was get home and put on my Costco leggings.
Let us GenX moms first accept blame for our GenZ children feeling so entitled to cultural domination that they can dictate not only what we wear but even the goddamn emojis we use (some with relish) when we text our friends and loved ones. Let’s tell those little babies that it’s time to take off their little headsets, turn off whatever screens they’ve got glowing around them, and go to bed.
It’s time for the grownups to be in charge.
SUNDAY SHARES: read-watch-cook-buy
Many of you know that my daughter and I started Whole 30 17 days ago (but who's counting?). When I met friends for more snowshoeing last Sunday, one of the biggest questions was how I was living without half-and-half in my coffee, which is something in my life I had been completely devoted to but not allowed on the diet. Instead, I've been putting Nutpod creamers in my morning brew, and you guys, I'm not going back to dairy when this is done. It's just the right amount of creamy in my coffee that does not make me feel like I am deprived, a feeling I generally tend to avoid at all costs.*
Another Whole 30 savior has been the cookbook by the team that developed the diet. Great tips and recipes and meal plans. We made this pork carnitas recipe last week, which we paired with roasted cauliflower and those mashed sweet potatoes with coconut milk we've been loving and were freaking out at the dinner table about how good it all was.
If, like me, you find yourself this winter with heels so dry you could use them to refinish a piece of wooden furniture, consider this handy little appliance. Apparently, I'd bought it for my daughter a while back and she handed it over for me to try after I complained about my crackled heels and one pass across the back of my foot left them soft and smooth. In other words, WILL PRODUCE MIRACLES.
I love everything about oranges -- smell, flavor, looks -- except eating them. The peel and the pith and the texture just aren't right. That is, until I met the Sumo orange a few years ago, which I sampled at Wegman's during a shopping trip. Beyond delicious, but pricey. Now, Wegman's is selling a crate of six of them (I think) for $15, which I know sounds crazy but they are SO GOOD. Even my daughter, who is like Mikey and suspicious of everything, recently tried one -- after my aggressive urging -- and is obsessed now as well. If you're stripping everything out of your diet except air, splurging on a little sweet doesn't seem so decadent.
Finally, I got an email from a woman who does online yoga classes aimed towards the sober community who I really enjoy and she added a gorgeous photo of vibrant Santa Cruz dahlias in pinks and purples, which she said she'd used as a desktop screen saver to bring a burst of spring into this endless, snowy winter. I immediately swiped and used it as wallpaper on every device I own -- watch, laptop, phone and tablet -- and the explosion of color makes me happy every time I see it.
*Includes link to affiliate site that might compensate me if you purchase their product.