The 'Kinda Stinks' Edition

Sometimes life kinda stinks

December has been a strange and, dare I say, crappy month. When I said this to someone, she told me she'd read that it's because we're leaving Pluto -- who's a dick -- and entering the much friendlier Mars (or something like that) and all I know is it better happen already because I have reached my bad stuff quota and we're only 6 says into the month.

So far this month, I've learned that despite reading I had 60 days to roll into new health insurance after my COBRA ran out at the end of November, I am uninsured this month; the state of New Jersey was threatening to suspend my drivers license after I neglected to pay a parking ticket, leading to me spending about 90 minutes of my life on hold waiting to talk to someone from the DMV; coffee was spilled on my laptop and requires $$ repair and the whirlwind relationship I'd been in last month abruptly came to a halt and I'm not sure quite why. 

One of my college pals texted me last night to say she was sorry about the latter, and sent me a full panel of lovey emojis, which is truly the key to my heart. Then I shared with her a video that my entire family could watch -- quite literally -- 300 times in a row of our baby, circa 2014, who'd been sick as a dog assessing his situation (see below).

I pulled into my driveway yesterday after driving a couple of hours back and forth to have lunch with my dad, and I saw a call coming in from my oldest, dearest friend who was calling to say she heard I had a boyfriend. I started to tell her the news and a cry got caught in my throat and then I went down that rabbit hole of woe. "I'm just so tired of being alone and feeling unlovable," I cried and then, "and I can't believe I'm such an asshole for complaining about this silly shit to you of all people."

Almost a year ago her baby was stuck in a very dark hole and the only way out that he could see was to take his life, which he did in early December. Her pain is incomprehensible and I've thought about it as I've wallowed in my own sadness. How there's sadness and then there's SADNESS. True pain.

"We all have pain," she told me, and I could tell by her voice that she was crying, too. "Life doesn't always go the way we planned." 

Then she gave me a pep talk and we chatted a bit about how she was doing and as my son got in the car to go to the barber's, my oldest friend and I said we loved each other and that we'd check in on each other again today.

My son slid in and asked how my friend was doing and I said she was hanging in there, but that I'd been dumped, and he said, "Men suck," and honestly, that made my day.

So, enjoy this beloved video -- especially his jack-o-lantern teeth. In an effort to stay out of my own head and keep that mean story-of-woe to a minimum, I've been busy watching/listening to/and reading what is heretofore to be known as my Break Up Faves. 

Enjoy your Friday!
xoAmy

Sometimes life kinda stinks.