The stories we tell ourselves
Quarantine Week 2: Vol. 1
You know how a few weeks ago I talked about my penchant for ignoring problems? Preferring to brush bad behavior and dwindling checking accounts under the rug and tiptoeing around the growing piles rather than picking them up off the floor and shaking them out for inspection?
It turns out that it's hard to turn a blind eye to a global pandemic. I may not be good at problem solving but I am an excellent rule follower.
For at least the last week, the kids and I have been hunkered down at home, leaving to walk the dog and the kids have spent some time with their dad. My youngest daughter goes out most days to restock the larder, which dwindles pretty quickly with five people eating three meals a day. Don't get me started on the toilet paper. The good news is that while we were eating dinner last night, we spied out the big bay window in the kitchen our neighbor unloading what looked to be a big pack of TP out of his car in the driveway. I quickly texted his wife, who confirmed he'd just stumbled across some at our local Shop Rite.
"I'm on my way," my daughter said, and she was out the door in a flash. About 15 minutes later, "Victory," flashed across my phone screen.
I thought I'd give an update on the much-dreaded Family Meeting, which I held on Friday afternoon and was about as warmly received by my children when I announced it earlier in the week as my suggestion that we play Boggle.
I couched it as a happy hour and put out a nice spread of meats and cheeses on wooden boards that we carried out to the patio to sit around the table. The kids filed outside to take their places around the table and I could feel the collective eye roll as I handed out the agendas I had printed out that was broken out into three sections.
There was a hostile silence as I began by reading the quote I had put under "Team 44 Plan" (a reference to our house number): In the immortal words of Troy Bolton, "We're all in this together."
Silence.
I really thought a High School Musical reference would immediately win them over.
I then jumped right to the bottom section, "THE BASICS," which addressed everything from rationing supplies and putting dirty stuff directly into the dishwasher to helping keep track of things needing to be restocked and not pooping in the downstairs bathroom.
I tried to make it clear to the kids that this wasn't just about what I wanted (per se), but what we all needed to coexist amiably for the unforseeable future. "I'd rather get everything out on the table and make things clear rather than just being pissed at each other," I told them, and then asked my older kids, who are now working all day long at home, what they needed, and they quickly got engaged. My older daughter said she was struggling with all of our noise while she was on work calls, and her sister suggested she send a group text giving us a heads up when she's on calls.
That led the way to a lot of other productive conversations about sleeping arrangements, since we're down a bed, and a request for a video demonstrating how to lock certain tricky doors in the house, for those who still can't quite figure it out.
"I also think that if you write about one of us in your newsletter," said my older girl, "we get to approve it before you send it out."
That got a lot of heads shaking in the affirmative around the table.
"Or, we get to add our own comments at the bottom," suggested the younger girl, and everyone agreed.
We moved on to how to split chores around the house, agreeing that the boys would each take a bathroom and the girls would handle vacuuming, trash and recycling. Cooking and kitchen cleaning would be handled collectively. One of the girls even made a chart for who was in charge of taking the dog around the block each night before bedtime.
Finally, we moved to the top, "LET'S TRY TO" section, which listed my helpful suggestions, like: get sunlight, exercise and shower. "That means you, too, mom," someone said to the showering part, and that was a good reminder that I am not above the law around here.
By the end, everyone was engaged and adding real and silly things to the lists. I think it felt good to get some grievances out on the table and everyone felt like he or she had been heard. I thought it was so beneficial for our current living situation, I sent a text the next day calling for weekly Friday Family Happy Hour meetings.
Cue the eye rolls.
Stay healthy and safe!
xoAmy
The Girls Respond
Favorite Child: There is not a lot I need to correct from this piece. All I have to say is, it's not all sunshine and rainbows yet. People still leave things in the sink and take calls from shared spaces even though it was requested that they don't. But no one has died yet, so I think that's a decent win.
Lesser Favorite Child: Agree with the above statement wholeheartedly. Still think that we should get veto rights when it comes to this blog, as there certainly have been past posts that I have had some serious issues with, but this comment section will do for now. Everyone is still trucking along and there are still 5 alive humans (and 2 animals) in the house. Still need to make sure people know that the rules apply to everyone, not just some. After that, everything will be fine ... hopefully!
We couldn't figure out why the two puzzles we've finished so far were missing pieces, until we fished one out of the dog's mouth. Mystery. Solved.