Starting over at midlife

I did it. You can do it, too. Plus, my fave groovy readers and book of the summer.

Not long ago, I was sitting in the office with my team and we’d just gotten off a call with the PR agency we use to help amplify communications efforts we produce for our HR software company. We’d been discussing an ask from a reporter from The Wall Street Journal for an article she was working on about women returning to the workforce after an extended absence.

Along with some data points she was interested in getting through our customer base, the reporter was looking for women to interview and wanted to know if we could help with her sourcing. Apparently, we’d reached out to our own HR team to see if anyone in the company would match that criteria and they were like, “Nope, no one here fits that bill.”

I thought about that for a second and then was like, “Guys, that’s me,” and my manager smacked her head.

Before getting launched out of a canon into Corporate America at the tender age of 54, I’d been juggling a bunch of tiny little freelance jobs after getting let go in a mass layoff via a conference call seven years earlier. That job as an editor of an online local news site was really my first foray into being a working mom or what my youngest had dubbed a “stay at home computer mom.”

Prior to that, I dabbled in a bunch of freelance reporting jobs but mostly I was a stay at home mom, like all the other moms in my town. Sure, I compulsively volunteered to help with school things and was a Girl Scout leader for years. But there was not a ton of structure and certainly no one was looking for any of my KPIs or giving performance reviews (at least not formally and certainly not in the polite corporate-speak).

Probably for at least the first year of my entree into Corporate America, I was racked with imposter syndrome. I’d sit on calls and not say anything, thinking, “Don’t they know I’m just a stay-at-home computer mom?”

It’s been a journey and has forced me to overcome a lot of my own internal narratives and stretch my brain. I wish there’d been a way to measure my brain capacity before I started my corporate marketing job and now. I am sure it would be akin to how the Grinch’s heart swelled.

In the end, by the time we got back to her, the reporter had all the contacts she needed and I joked to the team that I’d have to find another way into the WSJ. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was such a good story to tell because so many women find themselves on a massive detour from where they thought they were headed. I know I did. I had this whole fantasy about living this perfect married life with a passel of kids and that did not just pan out.

I want all the other women who have had to pivot (as we like to say in Corporate America) at midlife because of divorce or any of the zillions of other curveballs life can throw that anything is possible. I am shocked at how different my life is today than it was, say, five years ago when my therapist tried to help me create an empowering mantra and I could not come up with any answers to complete the statement “I am …”

I think one of the true gifts of my journey and being here at midlife is finally having more clarity around who I really am and what I want out of this big, juicy life. I mean, is it aligning with stakeholders at my 9-to-5? No, but that experience has helped give me the confidence and skills for whatever comes next. And it’s also taught me that I can end up loving things I did not expect to even like and that I need to be open to the opportunities that present themselves. Who the heck knows?

I’m in Vermont this weekend for a wedding and spent Friday night with dear friends at their place and we did all the things I love to do when I visit them. We wandered around my favorite bookstore and then the best farmer’s market on Saturday morning. I left after lunch to drive to the inn I was staying in for the wedding about 30 minutes away and there was a break in the rain that had been coming down all morning. The route was super twisty and hilly and the two-lane road was surrounded by trees and lush greenery creeping out from under and touching the asphalt on both sides.

As I snaked further up the mountain I could see wisps of fog (clouds?) and as I got toward the top it became more dense and I could just see far enough ahead not to feel panicky about what was coming next. I thought about how much it was like knowing where I was going in my life. I can’t see the entire road mapped out in front of me. I mean, that sucks. Why can’t we? But I just have to keep believing in myself and moving forward. Through the clouds. Up and down. And it’s all so beautiful to look at.

sunday shares: see + watch + cook + buy

This podcast episode will change your life. Not to be dramatic (but I love drama) but this podcast episode says pretty much everything we need to know not just about parenting, but life kinda. Listen and tell me what you think.

Your summer read. I gobbled up Catherine Newman’s just-released novel, Sandwich, and it was delightful. #1: set anything on Cape Cod and I’m in. #2: have the book mirror many of my own struggles as a middle aged mom and woman just trying to make sense of it all, and I’ll recommend it to everyone I know. I got to hear the author speak at an event this week at a local bookstore and it was super fun and she was joined by the writer of another one of my favorite recent summer book. I read Fellowship Point when it came out a few years ago and am about to visit Maine for the third time this summer because I just loved the book’s location.

Here I am in the video simulating a phone call like it was 1983.

Groovy readers. I made what amounted to a mini docu-drama video announcing a book giveaway on Friday and aside from a lot of folks excited to throw their hats into the ring, there were a bunch of questions about my readers (they’re progressives and super light and easy to wear) and necklace (fyi I never take the thing off, including showers, and it still looks great since I got for Christmas). Also, you can still head over to Instagram and get in on the giveaway. Make sure you follow me and tag two pals. I’m announcing the winner at 6:00 ET tonight (June 30).

Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. I feel like I’ve been talking about boobs a lot lately with friends and even coworkers. Random. And finding the right bra has been the bane of my existence. I popped into the Soma at my local fancy strip mall and I am low key obsessed. I wanted ones that were not super padded because my menopause version of my bosom needs no padding. So far, so good. I want to go back to check out their pjs and sleeping bras.

Thanks for reading! See you next Sunday. xoAmy