Am I a beach person, or just a book person?
Rediscovering the joy of a good summer read. Also: What I'm reading and wearing on repeat.
Hi Midlifers,
Finally, we had a beautiful Saturday here in New Jersey and I spent it doing what I do best: sitting in the shade reading a book.
I gave my front porch a major overhaul this spring and, thanks to a shift in the weather, I’ve finally been able to use it the way God intended: stretched out on my new wicker couch, propped up on stacks of Target throw pillows, and lost in a book.
It wasn’t that long ago that sitting on my porch on a beautiful summer Saturday would have given me agita. I would have felt guilty that I wasn’t taking advantage of living five blocks from the beach. My FOMO would start seeping from my pores and finally, I’d begrudgingly prepare for the journey.
Change into a suit and coverup. Pack a bag with only the essentials (and not the steamer trunk I’d need when the kids were young). Ride bike up to the beach with my beach chair strapped to my back and my bag balanced in my front basket. Locate an open length of railing along the boardwalk to lock up my bike and then trudge across the burning sand to navigate the one million bodies to claim an open spot of hot sand. Take up as much space as possible with one chair and one beach towel to prevent encroachment. Disrobe. Settle into chair wearing a large-brimmed sombrero and slide a pair of readers on top of sunglasses. Open book. Squint to see words. Sweat.
That’s just a lot of work. And forget having to go to the bathroom. It’s just not worth it.
Instead, this Saturday, I walked out onto the porch, got cozy on the couch and opened my book to read. The end.
This may not seem like a major life shift, but for me it’s absolutely revolutionary and signals yet another way I’ve started listening to my inner voice and doing what I want to do — and not what I think I should do.
It’s weird to be living smack in the middle of other people’s vacations. In my little coastal town (population ~2,000), there are many people who live here year round. But it’s also where many people have second homes or are renting for the summer or are just here for the day. I see their cars lining the five streets in town that come October, will be empty. I watch them strolling around Main Street in the afternoon, their shoulders red under their sundress straps. Or sitting on benches outside the local ice cream parlor around the corner from me, juggling toddlers and ice cream cones.
It can all give you a lot of FOMO if you let it.
For the longest time, I was a dedicated beach goer. If it was a summer weekend, you could bet a lot of money you’d find me sitting on a chair in the sand. And when the kids were little, we’d be there every single day. I’d be up early packing a giant cooler with sandwiches and juice boxes to hand out in between swim team and tennis lessons and sitting along the edge of the kiddie pool on hot summer afternoons.
Later, after my divorce, I’d sit in a circle on the sand with a group of moms in town while our boys split their time running into the ocean with their boogie boards or buying treats at the snack bar. We reappllied sunscreen to their shoulders and sipped on spicy margaritas (shout out Susan’s concoctions!) and talked about all the things middle aged moms talk about in the comfort of a beach circle.
Nowadays, I’m the only one whose time needs to be occupied on a summer afternoon. I don’t have to worry about keeping a middle schooler busy and so that he’s not sitting around watching TV on a sunny day.
And it turns out, I don’t want to have to work that hard to sit and read a book. After my little skin cancer scare, I don’t want to get too much sun and honestly, would rather not have to trudge through burning hot sand and be annoyed by other people.
Three years ago, my girlfriend and I toured the house I’m now renting and even though it was in a state of disarray and had a super scary basement, I could see the possibility. I stood on its front porch and imagined how cozy I could make it. It’s the vision that stayed in my head for weeks as I campaigned for the owner to pick me as his next renter (paying a full year up front helped)
I had book club this week (which is really just me and two friends sitting over dinner discussing a novel we read), and when we started talking about our next get together, one of the gals was like, “I can’t on Saturdays and Sundays because I’ll be at the beach.”
She went on to explain that for her and her husband, summertime means heading to the beach for the day. “I mean, we just sit and read the whole time.”
Maybe if I had a companion, I’d feel differently and be more enthusiastic about spending the day in the sand. I understand the joy of sitting alongside someone and reading. But nowadays, I’d rather just do it on my porch.
I asked my other book club friend, who lives in the next beach town, if she makes it to the beach any more. “Rarely,” she said, even though she’s only two blocks away.
“But if you ever want to go and sit around 4:00, I’d love that,” she said and to me, that sounds like the perfect beach day. Sitting on the sand as the crowds thin out and the heat of the day starts to recede, lost in a good book and (even better) easy conversation to ride out a summer afternoon.
Midlifers: What is your perfect summer day? Share if you want in the comments below.
What I’m wearing on repeat right now
Guys, I’m not saying this is my most fashionable look, but it is the ensemble I wore all weekend (two days in row) including for walks at dusk up to the beach. I also have the matching gauze barrel pants from the Gap. Do I look like a blueberry? Maybe. Am I okay with that? Absolutely.
Our guide who drove us to Giverny to tour Monet’s home (during a recent trip to Europe in May) was dressed in a royal blue tshirt and matching pants and we called him our “little blueberry.” Maybe I’m channeling his lovely energy.
A Soma store opened in our local upscale shopping center and I have to say, I am loving their camisoles and nightgowns that have shelf bras. I have to have a shelf bra for sleeping. They’re having a sale on their sale items right now and I picked up another one of their nightgowns this weekend to get through the coming heat wave.
I’m also really into this Old Navy tee I picked up a while ago from the sale rack and have only just started wearing. I paired it with my denim jean shorts (aka: jorts) the other day and liked it so much, wore it to bed. I picked it up in a few different colors and sized up to match my summer Coastal Grandma vibe.
What I’m reading on the porch
Gobbling up Emily Henry’s People We Meet on Vacation, which has been sitting on my TBR shelf since it came out a few years ago. I really love her pacing and how much she’s got me rooting for this couple to (finally!) get together. It’s a slow burn and when she turns up the heat, she’s steamy! I’d love to read something like this with characters in their 50s and not early 30s.
Midlifers: Are there any good romance novels with main characters in their 50s?
Up next
Don’t tell my friend Kathy, I don’t want to get her hopes up, but I’ve started reading Middlemarch. Again. Actually, this time I’m listening and since I’ve already started reading and giving up on the classic numerous times (lol), it’s moving along since I already know the general plot. Also, there are some funny lines and, wow, some scathing and funny observations about the sexes.
I adored Annabel Monaghan’s previous novels (Summer Romance and Nora Goes Off Script) and am excited to dig into newest this summer. And our micro book club will read The Safekeep, which was my pick and was guided by this.
Kicking off my bookish summer
This week, I went with a girlfriend to see the authors who make up the Friends & Fiction quartet live in an event sponsored by my local bookstore and celebrating the launch of one of the writer’s new release (Kristin Harmel’s The Stolen Life of Colette Marceau). Delightful. Transparently, I was not familiar with three of the four authors (I mean, who doens’t know Mary Kay Andrews?). But I could listen to writers talk about their craft and their work for days on end. Also, now I have a whole new cache of writers to check out for my summer reading journey.
Thanks for reading (and liking and commenting and supporting)!
See you next week,
xoAmy
Six years ago we downsized and moved to a “Front Porch” community, specifically designed to encourage engagement with neighbors. It’s the opposite of most new housing design known as Snout Houses by planners like me for their garage noses that stick out into the front yard obscuring the main front entrance to a house. I love my porch, but I love the neighbor porches even more. I count eight of them in sight when I sit in my porch rocking chair reading. People come and go making the neighborhood feel alive.
PS love your porch and your blueberry T! I’m a stay inside in summer person because my body hates extreme heat which is what we have in Johannesburg. However, that is also the reason we book a beach holiday in winter.