You won't believe where I work (it's kinda creepy)

Settling into the freezing cold this winter. PLUS: Great Old Navy jeans and advice from our best girl, Hoda.

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Hello! An update for *paid* subscribers.

Now that I’m back with Sunday posts, I’ve turned payments back on for all of you lovely paid subscribers. Please let me pause and say how much I appreciate your support of my work. It really means the world to me. xo

I’ve also slightly jeuged the pricing plan for any of my free subscribers who are sitting on the fence to help give you a nudge! And for the divas (of whom I am a proud member), I renamed the Founding Members option, who will herewith be known as the Midlife VIPs because the joke in my house is that I think I’m a VIP and sometimes act accordingly. Please, join me and release your inner Lucille Bluth.

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Earlier this week, I was texting with a gal pal and we both took turns asking how the other was doing. I thought of about a million things to say in response — Cranky! Cold! Bleh! — but instead texted: Good!

And when it was my friend’s turn to respond, she texted: “Good! Just winter.”

And I thought: Ah. Yes. Just winter.

Is it me, or has it felt as if we’ve been living in The North, on the other side of The Wall, and zombies will be arriving at any moment? Like we’ve been living in an episode of Game of Thrones where our surroundings have morphed into an icy cold wasteland, life is really hard, and Ramsay Bolton has just assumed the presidency?

For those struggling to follow the Game of Thrones metaphor, the bottom line is that I’m cold, don’t want to go outside, and things are kinda scary. But it’s all a matter of perspective.

Brrrrr. The very frozen lake down the street from my house.

Item 1: Cold

Aside from it being bonkers freezing outside this January, this house I’m renting a half mile from the ocean lacks proper insulation and its windows and doors give new meaning to “drafty.” As such, I’ve been running my two space heaters around the clock and have taken to turning the oven on to maintain a temperature over 66 degrees.

I finally texted the property manager the other day to ask if he’d come over and seal some of the draftiest culprits. The front door and big picture window in the living room are like wind tunnels. Both of us have talked to the homeowner about updates the house needs — like some new windows and doors — but he’s not interested.

I could spend a ton of energy being angry that I pay good money, blah blah blah. Honestly, I did that the first winter I was here. Shivering in my bedroom and being all resentful of my landlord and spinning all these stories in my head. But then my dad died which gave me tons more interesting internal narratives to pursue. All sorts of tired stories from the past I could resurrect.

Instead, I am leaning into the concept of Mel Robbin’s new book, The Let Them Theory, which tbh is repackaged Codependent No More messaging. Pretty much: we can’t control other people — like what they think and do. The only thing we have control over is our own thoughts and actions, which is really so annoying when you have created the most amazing script in your head of the way things are supposed to unfold and then no one around you can stick to it.

Like, my landlord doesn’t think he needs to update the windows or doors on his aging home? Let him. I can’t control what that guy does. Why waste all my energy on trying to compose emails in my head to him that somehow convinces him to do something? Instead, I can focus on what I can control, which is ME. I can make do the one or two times a year it gets so cold outside the house struggles to maintain heat. And if it really bothers me, I can find someplace else to live when my lease is up next year.

The maintenance guy, who’s a nice person, called Thursday to see if I wanted him to come over after he was done with work, and I thanked him but said we could wait until next week. We had company and sales kick off meetings this week in the office, and I was done talking. The maintenance guy and his son are super chatty, which is fine, but not at 6 p.m. in January. I just wanted to zone out on the couch and in the scheme of things, it wasn’t an emergency. Plus, the temps are climbing into the balmy 40s next week.

Item 2: Scary times

For as much as I’m feeling like Ramsay Bolton has assumed the Iron Throne, probably half of you feel like Daenerys has swooped in on her dragon to save the day (sorry guys, more GOT references). So, that too is perspective.

What I do know is that much like the heating situation in my house, I can’t give recent events any of my precious energy. My news diet has become quite minimal, and I now try to put my phone in the bathroom an hour before bed to eliminate any compulsion to doom scroll. Instead, I finished a book this week, did a lovely evening meditation and have been watching old Oprah episodes breaking down Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth.

LOL this is where I park my little Clown Car twice a week.

As for the daily hour of television I allow myself after work during the week, I considered starting the new season of Severance that just came out. Weirdly, I work in the building where the show is filmed (see video I took of it playing on my TV above). Yes, that creepy building. I mean, it never felt very sinister prior to Severance. It’s an iconic structure designed by a famous architect that served as one of the Bell Labs headquarters. I re-watched Episode One from the first season, or about half of it, the other day and the building if featured front and center and there’s definitely a feeling of foreboding as the main character arrives for another workday.

In the end, I decided Severance just wasn’t giving me the vibes I needed this week. Instead, I binged season one of Hotel Portofino, via the PBS app on my TV. The recommendation to watch came from my trusted hair colorist who’d also suggested The Durrells, which was an emotional salve during pandemic times (British family moves to the island of Corfu, Greece in the 1930s). While there is a little more drama and political intrigue in Hotel Portofino compared to the lovely Durrells, the gorgeous Italian Riviera backdrop still makes for a great escape and the hotel itself is dreamy with all its balconies and terraces overlooking the turquoise water of the Ligurian Sea.

This weekend, I made myself leave the house first thing Saturday morning and headed to an early morning meeting that often feels the way I suppose church feels for some people. The way you can feel the energy of everyone in the room. Supporting each other. Baring their souls. Holy. Letting the common prayer of the human condition serve as the golden thread connecting us all as one. Reminding me, once again, that despite all our differences — man/woman, democrat/republican, chocolate/vanilla, morning people/night owls, right-handed/left-handed — we are all of us struggling. No one knows what they are doing. And deep down, we all just want the same things. Gah, it’s so simple and yet so hard.

After the meeting and coffee with some ladies afterward to catch up, I drove to pick the dog up from his regular grooming appointment. Doodles need regular tending lest they get all knotty behind their ears so my guy might get his hair done more than me, and that’s saying something. After I paid, I set up his next appointment and was surprised that five weeks takes us into March.

“I’ll see you in the spring!” the groomer said as I turned to leave, and I told her that was the best news I’d heard all week.

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sunday shares: 3 things I’m into this week

hodakotb

A post shared by @hodakotb

1. Do this. You will thank me.

My girl, Hoda, has been a busy bee since she stepped away from The Today Show a few weeks ago. I have a feeling she has a new project up her sleeve, and I am here for it. She posted this suggestion for enlisting generative AI to paint a picture of what you life could look like and then a follow up, for getting ChatGPT to map out how to get there. The scheduling piece in particular has been amazing for me, someone who’s struggled to figure out how to squeeze all the things in. The robots are helping!

Here's the wash I bought and really like.

2. Old Navy barrel jeans for the win

I am really trying not to spend money and buy more stuff this month after the holidays and buying gifts for my kids like they’re 11. I need to stop. However, I wanted something fresh to wear for this week’s sales meetings and these barrel-style jeans from Old Navy checked the box. Then I wore them out to dinner Saturday night. This is now my third pair of this style bottom and I really like how they look and feel, plus my cute manager told me they were flattering, too. SCORE.

3. Frozen River for frozen times

I stayed under the covers most nights this week finishing up Ariel Lawhon’s The Frozen River, which is set in Maine (ha) right after the American Revolution and follows a midlife midwife who finds herself at the center of a rape trial and murder. Based on the diary from a real-life 18th century midwife, I really liked the setting in Maine along the frozen Kennebec River (which is where I stayed two years ago on a solo getaway) and being reminded of how dangerous childbirth is. But questioned some other things in the novel, like colonists going out to dinner at the local tavern because they don’t feel like cooking. And some of the spicy conversations between her and her husband did not ring true.

Thanks for reading!

I’ve missed you guys and excited to be back to share a little of what’s been going on. At a few gatherings with friends around the holidays, more than a few women told me they missed knowing what to buy at Old Navy during my sabbatical. LOL

As always, thank you for taking the time to read this post. I’m truly so glad you’re here. If you like what you’re reading, please consider sharing this newsletter. (And if you have the time to like it, that would mean a lot to me!) When you engage with the newsletter in any way, it helps other readers fine me.

Have a great week!

xoAmy