Alone again (naturally)

It's my first solo weekend in a while, and I don't hate it. PLUS: All the shoes I'm eyeing for fall.

Hello, hello Midlifers,

I don’t know if I’m just getting sentimental in my old age, but has late August always been this delightful? Has the weather always been this perfect as we head toward Labor Day?

I took the dog for a walk after dark on Saturday night wearing just the skort and tank top I’d been loafing around the house in all day and it was cool as I headed east toward the ocean. The air felt good on my bare arms as I walked alongside the little lake down the block from my house. I could just make out the spray of water shooting upwards from a fountain feature that in a month or so will be shut off until next spring. I closed my eyes and listened to the droplets hit the lake and heard the steady hum of cicadas announcing the changes that are heading our way (but not yet!).

I could tell folks were taking advantage of the beautiful night. The usually sleepy town was kinda popping off. I saw a bunch of families and couples biking along the darkened streets, which are perpetually devoid of traffic. And as I walked along the sidewalk I could hear the murmur of voices coming from front porches or through wide open windows. Everyone gathered to soak in the symphony that is late August.

After next weekend, I’ll have the whole place to myself again. There will barely be anyone on the boardwalk when I take my morning walk and at night I won’t have to navigate the dog around a swarm of people eating pizza and ice cream on Main Street as I loop my way home.

My son left on Thursday for his final year of college and I’m still getting used to the silence. I can feel the emptiness when I come downstairs in the morning to make my coffee. It just feels different. My dog, on the other hand, is thrilled and has reclaimed my son’s bed as his own and now — I guess — has his own room. I can only hope he does his laundry a little more frequently than his human brother.

But in the 100 years that I have been sending kids off to college, I’ve learned that they come back. Often. Usually there’s a stretch between the start of fall semester and Thanksgiving, and then they’re back home constantly. For almost a month over the holidays. Spring Break. And then spring semester ends late April/early May. I mean, this has been my experience.

So that emptiness doesn’t feel so heavy. In fact, there’s a lightness to it. I’m excited for my son to experience his last year of college but also, I’m excited for me to keep figuring out what it means not to be a 24/7 mom. To keep exploring who I am and what I want. I miss my son — he’s a pretty good roommate — but also he needs to figure out who he is and what he wants out of life, too.

I’ve spent a bunch of time working on my book this weekend, which is a lot about finding purpose after your kids leave, so the subject is top of mind for me right now. In a way, I’m pretty lucky that my financial situation was so dire a few years ago that it scared me out of the fear I had around starting over. Going broke became scarier than putting myself out there and finding a job like my life depended on it. Cuz it kinda did.

It feels good to have a reason to wake up in the morning. If I didn’t have my marketing job, what the heck would I be doing with myself every day? I shudder to think.

In the meantime, this new emptiness in my house is about to last about 12 more hours, until my older daughter arrives from North Carolina for a week with her little goldendoodle. And then on Thursday, I’m going to pick the other daughter up from Philly for a long girly pop weekend — which I’m so excited for. I told my teammates at lunch this week that the girls and I will probably spend our time together wandering around big box stores, which seems to be our love language. Nothing says, “I love you,” like examining every single display room at IKEA side by side. Gah, these are my people.

As such, I am going to take next Sunday off and lean into a labor-free Labor Day Weekend.

Wishing you all peace, joy and purpose.

xoAmy

The morning glories along the side of my house are growing into a big heart.

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sunday shares: read + watch + cook + buy

Also, I bought them in blue, which is really edgy for me.

Eye candy. I have been getting a bunch of compliments on the reader glasses I bought earlier this summer. They are progressives and what I like, aside from their looks, is how light they feel that I often forget I have them. Also, they don’t leave big divots on the sides of my nose (always a plus).

LOL

Your mantra for fall. My tres chic girlfriend, and fellow time-impaired sufferer, gave me this very gorgeous and funny ceramic ashtray for my birthday. She also shared the link to where she found it and good luck getting out of that hole any time soon.

What I am eyeing for fall

I like the braid detail on this pair.

Me and every other basic b*%$h is hot for the blue Birkenstock clog. I like the braid on this one.

Me and all the girlies also want pops of red. I looooove Madewell shoes and am here for the maryjane trend.

We also want all the studded accessories, like these Madewell beauties.

More studs + red from Madewell.

She’s cute, too.

More pops of red on the feet.

I love the white + red Sambas and the red +white suede Gazelles.

Story consumption. I finished In the God of the Woods early in the week. While that chic + smart girlfriend had issues with some holes in the story and lack of plausibility, I really liked it and it kept me coming back for more — which is always a good sign for me. I also watched Call Me By My Name last night, a movie that came out in 2017 and is set in northern Italy and I’d always been meaning to see. Truly gorgeous and I can see how it was Timothee Chalamet’s breakout role and tried not to think about Arnie Hammer’s alleged penchant for human flesh. I loved how European everyone was and also that it’s set in 1983 (which makes me around the same age as Chalamet’s character — wonder where he is now).

THANK YOUUUUUUU for reading. I am SO glad you are here. And thanks for all the Likes + Comments lately. Not only are you feeding my very hungry ego (YUM!) but also helping to up the engagement of these posts and lets Substack know you like it here!

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See you in two weeks! xoAmy.